The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod and your WHY. Previously we spoke about the SAVERS routine and the fact that this is, or can become, a 'way of life'. We looked at the difficulties and The Guilt involved in making it so.
Other Books to Consider
'Atomic Habits', a book by James Clear will help you with this. As well as 'The One Thing' by Gary Keller. That will also be very useful. They were for me. But 'Start With Why', 'Find Your Why' by Simon Sinek et alia might be the initial answer to your prayers. Have a look. See what you think.
Habits – What Hurts You
No habit can be created, no customs can become part of your new life, no beliefs can be entered into your heart mind and soul, without understanding the following: "Why am I doing this in the first place? What is the point? Where is this taking me? Is there a reason? Why?"
Some writers have even given these letters added information making the word an acronym. What. Hurts. You.
Pleasure and Pain
Let's look at this for a moment shall we? What hurts me? Since we are always looking to gain pleasure or avoid pain according to Tony Robbins, and avoiding pain is predominant, then that is a good place to start. What pain are we trying to avoid? Loss is a big one. Job, possessions, loved ones, money. That's the Big 4 right there. There are others but we'll stay with these for the moment. Pick one. Loved ones for example.
Loss of a Loved One
To avoid the pain of a loss of a loved one either by death or separation, we need to accept the loss. We can understand this process by referring to the Kubler Ross model (the 7 stages of grief - shock, denial, guilt, anger, depression and finally reconstruction).
Savers and Loss
Let’s apply the SAVERS ritual to each of these stages.
Always starting with a Silent centering 10 minutes. I'll talk with you later about this one. But for now just focus on some physical things like breathing, listening - intently, noticing smells, relaxing parts of the body consciously one bit at a time etc, and the 10 minutes will fly by.
Your Affirmations, the A in SAVERS can positively address each of these 7 stages for one week at a time. Affirming that we understand each stage and that we are going to work out how to deal with it.
Visualising follows this; see and experience in your mind’s eye, a new 'way of life' without the person or people in it. Again, more in a later post. Next is doing some -
Reading about the particular stage with which you are dealing, and then
Scribing/writing for 10 minutes. I recommend this writing be about things for which you are grateful.
Oh. I missed Exercise. I do this myself, out of sequence, at the end, as it energizes me to get off my butt and into action for the day.
This is a 7-week program for just one chosen WHY. What Hurts You. The loss of a loved one can be a huge WHY.
If you maintain this for let's say, only 5 days per week, we have 35 days of practice. Note I didn't say 'continuously - seven days per week' that is often not realistic. 35 days is just over halfway to establishing a habit. A habit using the newly minted Miracle Morning routine/ritual to bring you to a new acceptance of the grief you are experiencing.
Now repeat this for another 35 days and you will have finalised a new habit. Your Morning Miracle routine will be embedded into your lifestyle. And relating it to a big WHY - loss of a loved one - has given you a tool to use to help you come to terms with, in this case, 'grief'.
Long Term – New Outlook
The long term effects will be a new outlook on life. A new 'way of life' if you will. Life after grief.