Get A Mentor #2
What do I need a mentor for? Or if you consider Sir Winston Churchill a mentor: “For what do I need a Mentor?
We last talked about who or what a mentor might be, and we found that without knowing why you want/need a mentor, you may not be able to answer this seemingly simple question.
FIRST, we must delve into our WHY. Why we are doing what we are doing, and why doing it, might be better if we had a mentor. Whatever that mentor turns out be.
A few years ago, I went to a seminar about something, and at the end they asked for questions. My problem was, I understood so little of what was being discussed, I had no way of articulating a question that made any sense at all.
This is the same problem with a mentor if you don’t know what is happening in your life and why – no advice can be requested, because: what do you actually ask?
Our why has been postulated as an acronym of the word itself: What Hurts You?
What Hurts You?
Seems like a great place to start. In Business, In Personal Relationships, in our community or living in general, if we can be specific about what is hurting us physically, mentally, emotionally or socially, then we will be able to come up with some questions to ask a would be mentor.
Pick one to start with. Let’s say business. Then perhaps we decide fear is hurting us.
- Fear of rejection
- the unknown
- other people’s opinions
- not being good enough.
NOW we can generate some questions. THEN we can begin the task of deciding on a mentor.
We need help. Now we know what kind of help, we can begin to figure out who or what can provide that assistance. That’s how we chose a mentor. Who can answer the questions which the above analysis brings to the fore? No platitudes, no Bull Shit. Just simple answers and simple actions, befitting simple minds. Makes it easy.
We can use books, audios, videos, live seminars, 1:1 meetings (in person, Zoom, Skype or even just the plain old phone.) Now that we know the questions the answers are easy to search out. Our source(s) is/are our mentor(s).
Do you have to approach some big-wig in your business or life circle and say, “Will you be my Mentor?” NO! Phew. That’s a relief!!!
You just ask simple specific questions, get simple straight-forward answers.
Whom do you ask?
Great question. Whom do you ask? That’s where research comes in. Obviously someone you respect, someone who has an area of expertise where you need answers; but this someone doesn’t even need to be alive any more. Sir Winston Churchill, “NEVER, Never, Never give up”, for example. Is that not mentorship?
We define a mentor as someone who gives help and advice over time. Someone who is detached and disinterested and can hold a mirror up to us. Books and all the other resources we have already mentioned come into play here. It doesn’t say you have to be able to speak to or meet with this mentor. It doesn’t say that. It might be better in a few cases, where feedback is required for example, but doesn’t seem totally necessary in all cases. Does it?
I think we get hung up on the real when it comes to a mentor. It is expertise, experience, advice and answers for which we are clamouring, not shared cups of coffee.