Retirement, Redundancy - Life Plan
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Title stolen from a movie which was a 1964 black comedy that satirized the cold war fears of a nuclear conflict between the USSR and the USA.
But the fear of life after retirement or worse, redundancy is even greater. It is MUCH larger than ANY nuclear conflict could EVER be. It IS the BOMB.
Many men and women have often had very little life outside their jobs or careers. Career equals Identity.
The Issue here is:
Often after retirement, redundancy or being told by a doctor we can no longer work at our normal life career, we find ourselves getting up late, sitting around under our partner's feet, resenting that our partner still has a career or a life purpose. Playing too much golf or bridge. Gambling. Eating and drinking too much, waiting until the evening so we can go to bed, watching too much TV. Annoying friends and family is up there. Beginning to stop taking care of ourselves and this can include cleaning the house, or even eating and showering regularly. What's the point some might say.
Men and women often feel dumped, betrayed, bitter, worthless, stupid, not trusted, not loved, a waste of space, depressed, suicidal, better off dead.
Anything else I am missing?
When it comes to life, people are often spectators. They let life happen. They may plan their careers, the building of a new home, or even a holiday, (most people spend more time planning a one-week holiday than they spend planning their life).
They are reactive rather than proactive.
They drift along, often to destinations they would have never consciously chosen: poor health, failing relationships, a stalled or no longer existing career.
That is why so many people end up discouraged, disillusioned, and wondering what went wrong. They arrived at the wrong destination.
The good news is that it doesn't have to be or stay this way."
If you have been recently retrenched, retired or deemed unable to work at your usual occupation for health reasons, then this is you we are talking about. THIS IS YOUR LIFE!
OK. What do we do about it?
What we need is some kind of strategy to change the current state to something we want, like, or need. A new career. A new hobby, New people to talk to, new stuff to learn, a new way to spend time that feels worthwhile.
You realise, of course, that: "Life is What Happens To You While You’re Busy Making Other Plans."
YCW, teaching, photographic classes after school hours, theatre directing, community radio, help desk manager, process improvement, facilitating workshops, training – coordinator, course development, public speaking seminars, and now!!!
What pattern can we see here?
What am I doing now? Is there any link to this pattern?
What about patterns in your lives? Anyone care to share?
In a moment - not yet - we will talk about developing a 'life after career plan'.
6 Core Needs
There are a couple of things we need to look at before we move on.
We all have 6 core needs that MUST be fulfilled, one way or another?
Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love and Connection, Contribution, Growth
What we are good at, or not doing so well. Wheel Of Life?
Right. We have established that those who are scared of the two big R's and the MU words have not zero, not one – BUT THREE things they can think about and do to make their life worth living again. Does that sound fair so far?
These are: Look for patterns, investigate our core needs, fill out a wheel of life. (Don’t know about this Wheel of life thing, then let me know in the comments and we’ll cover that next time.)
Now that we have that part sorted – It's time to have a look at a 'life after career' Plan!
Why do you need a life plan? Three reasons:
1. It will give you clarity about where your life is headed.
2. It will keep you in balance when things get crazy.
3. It will give you peace of mind, knowing you are addressing those aspects of your life that matter most.
Making up a 'Life after Career Plan. What do we need?
Look back to our patterns from before. Write down on the back of the sheet the pattern you see in your life. Just one thing. Pick one.
(8 things) Interests, strengths, hobbies, sports, other leisure time pursuits, jobs you have had, friends you have, wish (bucket) list.
To develop a life after career plan – we need to:
- Find a pattern
- Understand your core needs - Certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, contribution, growth
- Identify your strengths and talents. What you are doing well, not so good. Wheel of life.
- Use these patterns, needs, strengths and weaknesses to generate goals. (SMART) 3 or 4 only.
- Review these goals to make sure they address the most important aspects of your life.
Apply this to your life now.
Perhaps you have a few better ideas of where you can go from here, what you can do to make your life a lot more fun? A lot less pain?
Looking back over what we have done:
- patterns in our lives.
- 6 core needs
- wheel of life
- 'life after career' plan
- SMART goals (3-4)
- where to next?
Where will we be in 1 month if we do nothing?
If we make some changes as above?
What about 6 months?
Knowing what we now know, where will we be in 2 years from now?
What will we be feeling that is different?
What will we be hearing that is different?
What will we be saying to ourselves that is different?
What will we be seeing that is different?